Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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