he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
