Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
