I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
