I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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