i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
