you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
And then he peed in my hair
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