you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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