I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I lost the right to judge tonight
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
