No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
