Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
