i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize