Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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