I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
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