Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
my poor anus
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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