have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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