Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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