dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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