I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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