there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
