Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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