I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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