The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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