We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
