i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
