how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
