my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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