I wish I only lived at night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
