her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
