New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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