So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
