Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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