I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
