mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
