i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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