i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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