He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My pussy is not your playground.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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