You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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