John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
