There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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