That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
