Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
