They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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