I could have mohawked her pubes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
porn star boner night. come get it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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