Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
