They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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