Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
