chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize