My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
