K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
