I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
