Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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