I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
