Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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