when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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