It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I faked an abortion last night.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
