that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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