what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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