I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize