So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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