I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
