I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
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