it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
